Today God reminded me I need to be a Steady Eddie. What is a Steady Eddie? Well, there’s several different meanings, synonyms, etc out there. For this blog, I’m going to say it means to be easy going; not rattled easily; accepts conflict and hurdles easily; etc. It’s someone who doesn’t get overly excited and it’s someone who doesn’t get overly angry. Across the board of emotions and actions they stay “steady”.
Today I had my quarterly visit with my oncologist. The results from this CT scan were not what I was hoping for. This time around it appears my main tumor has grown by about the size of a grain of rice. Three months ago my CT scan showed that my tumor had shrunk by about the same amount.
Now, I’m fully aware that there is no cure for neuroendocrine cancer. It’s a slower growing cancer. Slower growing than most other forms of cancer. The medication I’m currently taking just helps to slow down the tumor growth. Unless God intervenes(which I believe He can), there is no cure.
However when you hear the word “shrink” when discussing a tumor, you can’t help but get excited and a little optimistic. It must mean God is going to miraculously heal me right?
Then to hear the news today was slightly disheartening. “I thought God was going to cure me”. “I thought the tumors would continue to shrink”. I thought my life expectancy would continue to be lengthened by leaps and bounds”. Those are all thoughts that ran through my head.
Then God reminded me today of what a good friend of mine, who has walked down this path I’m on, said to me after the last CT scan. When it showed the tumor had shrunk. He said, “that’s great news. But don’t get caught up in the highs and lows of every result. Trust God, stay positive, and fight any way you can. There’s going to be highs. And there’s going to be lows. Put your faith and hope in God and rely on Him.”
Now, I understand why he said that. Now I understand that I need to continue to trust God no matter the test results. God has a plan. I’m His vessel. I need to live for Him and be a “Steady Eddie”.