Happy Anniversary to me!

Yep … it’s been exactly 5 years today that I was diagnosed with cancer.

What a 5 yr roller coaster this has been.

5 years ago today:

1. Had a such a severe pain in my side I had to leave work
2. My wife was out of town for a girl’s birthday wknd, so it was just little man and me
3. The pain got progressively worse
4. By the time Benjamin was in bed and fast asleep I couldn’t stand the pain anymore
5. I called my mom and dad
6. Mom came to stay with Benjamin and Dad drove me to the emergency room
7. Not appendicitis
8. Not gall bladdar
9. Not kidney stones
10. It’s a diaphramatic hernia
11. Oh and by the way … we found cancer on your liver and your pancreas
12. And by the way … this type of cancer has an average life expectancy of 5 yrs(I asked)

Wow … talk about a shocker. Read this https://brentfleshman.com/2019/03/06/get-me-out-of-here/ to get all the details.

Since then?

1. Found out it was neuroendocrine cancer
2. A treatable form of cancer
3. Not curable; but treatable
4. Had quarterly CT scans for the 5 years since

Things I still wonder about:

1. Why me?
2. Why heart disease, a valve failure and cancer?
3. Why after so many years of being healthy? Not even getting colds? No flu since I was 13?
4. Why did the physician doing my biopsy cry? Because he knew it was cancer and I was 50? Because he knew it wasn’t pancreatic cancer and was grateful? Because he knew me(because I didn’t know him)? Because he was having a bad day?
5. Why did the place I went to first, the oncologist I went to first, and the “leading center” on my form of cancer all point me in the direction of Sandostatin? Which slowed the tumor growth down, but didn’t stop it. Plus, it turned my hair white. All of it. White. Look at previous blogs for proof of that.
6. Why did it take 3 years for me to get a different oncologist? Why did it take 3 years for me to have a different procedure that would stop the tumor growth in my liver? Why did it take 3 years for an oncologist to suggest a newer medication for the tumor growth on my pancreas?
7. Why did the insurance deny my surgeon doing the Y-90 procedure 2 years ago?
8. Why did the surgeon call my insurance company himself to get it approved?

I had the blessing today to speak with my oncologist. We reviewed my latest CT scan from last week. Once again … as has been the news for the last 2 years … no growth in any of the tumors on my liver or on my pancreas. Him and I had a small celebration for the 5 year anniversary.

There is not really a reason for this blog. I have no theme. I have no purpose. I have no direction to point you in. I have no questions to make you think.

I just have this:

1. I am grateful to God for all He has brought me through
2. Cancerous tumors are not “guaranteed” not to grow
3. Cancer could pop up in my body at any time
4. I have lost good friends and coworkers this past year to cancer
5. It isn’t a respecter of persons
6. I know that each day is a gift and not to be taken lightly
7. I know that I need to ensure that I firmly plant Godly memories in Benjamin’s mind as he grows into a young man
8. I know that I need to be the best person that God would want me to be. Especially when it is a struggle
9. I know that God has placed people in my life who have impacted me and continue to impact me. Phone calls; texts; verbal conversations; hugs; etc. All of them reminding me of what God has done, and that He is the reason to live.

I hope you enjoy your week. I hope you follow God and serve Him faithfully this week. I hope you thank Him for all He has done and continues to do.

God willing, 5 years from now, I will be blogging about my 10 year anniversary.